Monday, August 22, 2011

Because I love you

I love you. Lots and lots and lots. And then more lots and lots and lots. 

In fact, I love you so much that I think one of the best ways I can show that to you is to make good choices for you right now so that later on you know how to make good choices. I want you to see me making decisions and I want you to see the results. 
But, I don't think you'll become a good decision maker if I let you make lots of decisions right now. It's not because you're not smart - you are. It's not because you can't learn - you will. It's because you don't have wisdom. And that's no fault of yours - it's something that takes time and something that happens when you observe other people making decisions and you, in turn, learn from those decisions and respond with discernment.
You won't hear me say, "Would you like apple juice or grape juice or orange juice or milk or water or soda or lemonade for dinner?" You'll just hear me say, "You had juice at lunch so it's time for milk at dinner."
You won't hear me say, "Would you like to wear this, this, this, or this today? You'll just hear me say, "You wore this yesterday but haven't worn this in a while. Please put it on."
You won't hear me say, "If you're not tired and you don't want to, then you don't need to go to bed." You'll just hear me say, "Your little body is growing and needs rest even when you think it doesn't. Please head upstairs for bed."
Why? Cause you're only five and three and one and I'm, well, much older. But really, the answer is cause God asked me to be the parent, not you.
You may ask and you may beg, but I won't buy you cartoon character clothes and toys and movies and bed sheets and coloring books and juice cups and toothbrushes and backpacks and towels and notebooks and underwear. You'll enjoy a handful of items with a favorite character, but I want to guard your heart from loving idols.
You may ask and you may beg to never eat green beans or cauliflower or beef roast or anything else you don't like, but I won't let you off the hook. It's okay to have preferences, but it's not okay to be demanding and selfish. You'll be asked to try a bite, and if you don't like it, you may be done. But guess what? Next time, you'll still have to take a bite again. I know lots of little kids begging for a bite of anything to eat and you're not going to develop an attitude that expects someone to cater to your wants.

Why? Cause you're only five and three and one and I'm, well, much older. But really, the answer is cause God asked me to be the parent, not you.

I love you so much that it's okay to hear you cry when you don't understand my decisions. I love you so much that it's okay to see you frustrated when you don't get your way. I love you so much that I'm willing to endure moments of tantrums in hopes that you'll observe good decisions made on your behalf so that in the future you can enjoy longevity in wisdom and discernment.

3 comments:

  1. Sarah, this may be one of my favorite.blog.posts.EVER! It is really, REALLY good! I'm going to have my kids read it! You are gifted & wise, my friend!!

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  2. You always write things with such clarity and creativity! You are such a gifted writer!!! This is a GREAT post girl!!!! I Love it!

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  3. I read this shortly after you wrote it and started to comment, but needed more time to process.

    Thank you so much for sharing this--it was both encouraging and convicting for me. I absolutely LOVE how intentional you are in parenting--as is evident throughout your whole blog, but highlighted here. I actually sent Freeman the link to this post to discuss a bit tonight.

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